I kind of wish it took longer than 20 minutes to pack up everything I love. I kinda wish it took less. I wish had a cabin in the woods. Maybe in upstate new york, but definitely with a wood stove. I kinda wish I didn't have a home- that I could wander on some overly romanticized journey of highway sunsets and late night radio, freight trains, windy roadside shoulders and cloying diner heat.
But really, I'm up in the Appalachian mountains, typing on my mac book, waiting to walk to statistics class.
Then I'll sit down in my desk. The room will be silent. Kids will be texting or typing on facebook chat. I'll open my computer and- COWBELL COWBELL COWBELL. Pounce on the mute. Stares. Cx videos left open, playing full volume. So awkward.Yes, I'm watching videos people in spandex body suits running with bikes. Don't worry about it.
A girl will walk in smelling like peanut butter and old cigarette. She'll sit down next to me, thinking I have the answers. But really, if I were any good at this math would I be in this class? We are in Stats 1020 for non-math majors for a reason. And class will start someone will speak, and that girl will scratch the head, and a cell will ring, and time will dissolve and I'll kind of wish I hadn't wasted it.
Just glad it will be over soon and I won't be trying to not dropped by the a-holes at the front of the room pushing the pace.
And I guess that's about it for all these days- along with a bit of trainer riding and smash-my-forehead-against-the-table studying. And thank God that's almost over. Sometimes, it seems the only thing keeping us sane here are the mountains.It's so unbelievably beautiful.
Everywhere you go, they surround you like walls. Cold and silent in the mornings, they force the sun to rise higher, scraping at the top of the sky, before a new days light can pour through the branches and drip down the mountain side.
The mountains will let you hide. They'll let you sleep, but they won't let you out. Even after you've climbed their peaks, hiking hours through the woods and shimmying up a rock face, atop the over look you'll just find more. Peaks higher than yours, waves and waves of them, until somewhere, they fall off into the sea.
You can't fight the mountains. They are big. They are lonely. And you just have to come to terms. You just have to adjust. You can build a campfire to starve off darkness, but you can't stop these walls from hiding the sun.
It's so incredibly beautiful.
Last weekend we raced in hendersonville, just over an hour from the apartment.
Friday was a day that didn't happen. I don't remember doing anything particularly useful. Which means I probably didn't. Saturday we woke up and drove to the race. Ate "breakfast" along the way- really just white wonder-bread andpeanut butter. I used to get excited about packing/preparing for races like it were some great adventure, but now, I just kinda dip the bread in jar and try to smile when I hand over a grimy, peanut butter filmed license at registration. oops.
I stalked the pre entry list before the race (and don't act like you don't do that too!) Although it wasn't a stacked USGP field, they would still be good, fun races. The the course was fun, too (everyone can appreciate a fast, fun, mostly downhill cx course!) With not many girls in the race having uci points, I had a front row start. Sweet! Although I still got the reverse hole shot. Seriously. Doh! Deidre Winfield and I rode around for a while until 1 to go. I was looking forward to getting to race the finish, but unfortunately she rolled a tire in the last lap.
The next day we had a group of three. We rode around for a few laps and nothing too exciting happened. I was concentrating on trying to keep my dork attacks under control during the race. Really. Having a blog should fill up my dork quota for the week. But anyways, it ended in a sprint. There were three of us going into the final corner, I was third. The girl second wheel went down and I think Dedrie and I were both unclipped and in goofy gears after losing alot of momentum going around the crash. We sprinted and I nipped her at the line (don't look suprised! There is a first for everything?)
Unfortunately, Clayton ended up having about as much bad luck over the weekend as I had good. It was a huge bummer.
so it was a kinda neat.
Now, I'm procrastinating packing up for jingle cross. It'll be cold there, huh.
And as of now, I will update this blog more. I've used the three T's to move my finals (trickery, thievery, and tomfoolery) (maybe not so much though) and this blog is going to be part of one. It's "writing for an audience." Apparently, we were supposed to have been writing a newspaper column or something all semester. It came as a surprise to me too.
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